13 months later:

It's been 13 months since I last posted something! Doesn't seem that long. A lot has happened, all good stuff. I still miss my kids, I'm sure I always will but I can't say I'm lonely for them. In fact if I could figure out how I'd change the whole "lonelymom" thing--but then this started as a road to re-discovering myself without my kids, so maybe I'll keep it. I'll try to catch up but things won't be in any kind of order.

My baby got married--It was a beautiful wedding
to sweet girl we love, they are settling in nicely.

My daughter's got a new beau and things are
looking serious there as well!

Ken and I backpacked in to Grebe Lake on the first of our two trips to Yellowstone-one of our
most favorite places in the world.

I've been working on my fly fishing skills with a
vengence!

This spring Kenny and I took a sunny warm vacation to a lovely resort in Cabo with some

friends.

Our mission trip this year consisted of helping a pastor friend of ours in South Dakota re-roof one of his churches.

On our way home we spent an evening at

Mount Rushmore--the lighting left us feeling very patriotic!

With all of this, many fishing trips, a 4th of July camping trip, some hiking, visits to our parents, we've have an extremely busy life, but full of fun and friends.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

It's been well over a month since I've "blogged"--sometimes I simply don't feel like writing--thus the reason I cannot become a writer. It's more than writer's block...

I have had a wonderful Christmas--spent time with each of my children, which is the best gift I could ask for. Kenny made each of us very cool gifts!

(My very cool puzzle board, Tiff's serving tray, and Justin's table that folds out to sit 6. I am blessed with a very talented husband.)

And the snow!....It was definitely a white Christmas! This is the
view from my living room window--so beautiful but very
slippery. Here in north Idaho we've had record snow fall and it's
only the first of January. The skiers are loving it and my Newfie!

(Our little Dude relaxing in his kingdom, and my niece and nephews on Schweitzer Mountain.)

The rest of us...not so much. I am a horribly chicken driver/copilot. Poor Kenny! Again I am blessed with a very patient man!

So, for the moment I will leave you with a wish for a very healthy, happy, family-filled new year!

It was definitely a white one, too! We've gotten record snow fall this year--and in 3 weeks time, certainly beautiful but very inconvenient, especially for one who hates to drive in the snow. But it's in the process of melting as we speak

Fall....

--
I've had a hard time getting into the "fall mode" this year--maybe it's more letting go of summer? But yesterday I--hopefully--did the finally raking of my yard, and now I'm missing my leaves. My yard looks naked! I have 3 large maples that put on a splendid show every year.

So, since I've been out of the writing mood of late I will simply share a few photos of my fall. Enjoy. Winter is just around the corner!

My mom recently sent me this email--I think I've seen it before.

WORRY Is there a magic cut off period when offspring become accountable for their own actions?? Is there a wonderful moment when parents can become detached spectators in the lives of their children and shrug, 'it's their life,' and feel nothing? When I was in my twenties , I stood in a hospital corridor waiting for doctors to put a few stitches in my daughter's head.? I asked, 'When do you stop worrying?'? The nurse said, 'When they get out of the accident stage'.? My Dad just smiled faintly and said nothing.
When I was in my thirties , I sat on a little chair in a classroom and heard how one of my children talked incessantly, disrupted the class, and was headed for a career making license plates .? As if to read my mind, a teacher said, 'Don't worry, they all go through this stage and then you can sit back, relax and enjoy them.'? My dad just smiled faintly and said nothing. ? When I was in my forties , I spent a lifetime, waiting for the phone to ring, the cars to come home, the front door to open.? A friend said, 'They're trying to find themselves.? Don't worry. In a few years, you can stop worrying.? They'll be adults'.? My dad just smiled faintly and said nothing. By the time I was 50 , I was sick & tired of being vulnerable.? I was still worrying over my children, but there was a new wrinkle.? There was nothing I could do about it.? My dad just smiled faintly and said nothing.? I continued to anguish over their failures, be tormented by their frustrations and absorbed in their disappointments. My friends said that when my kids got married I ? Could stop worrying and lead my own life.? I wanted to believe that, but I was haunted by my dad's warm smile and his occasional, ? 'You look pale.? Are you all right?? Call me the minute you get home.? Are you depressed about something'? Can it be that parents are sentenced to a ? Lifetime of worry?? Is concern for one another handed down like a torch to blaze the trail of human frailties and the fears of the unknown?? Is concern a curse or is it a virtue that elevates us to the highest form of life? One of my children became quite irritable recently, saying to me, 'Where were you?? I've been calling for 3 days, and no one answered. ? I was worried . ' I smiled a warm smile.?

Can any of us parents relate?
I just came back from a very fun weekend visiting my son. Car issues are the current problem. It's so easy to just fix things for our kids...make it all go away. I fall so easily into the "kissing the boo-boos good-bye" mode. Even in their 20's I hate seeing them hurt--emotionally, physically, spiritually. I'm pretty sure God feels the same way. I'm sure He cries with us, laughs with us, gets frustrated with us. The difference is that He can see the big picture and He KNOWS everything WILL be ok. We little peons here on earth hope and have faith that it will be ok. For those of us who want all the answers now...it's really hard.

The animal lover in me

My mom has a photo of me clear back in the first grade sitting on our lawn with about 20 cats all over and around me. I was in heaven! At the time we lived on a farm with land, freshly milked cows, and mice galore. As far back as I can remember we have always had animals--farm animals as well as the more exotic.


While living in Mexico, my brother would buy animals from the locals, saving the poor beasts from becoming soup. In that three year period we had a pet oppossum, a coati mundi, and even a deer. There were wild birds that would blow down from the rain forest during a storm--once even a toucan. We kept these only long enough for them to regain consiousness and then would let them loose.


And of course there were our parrots: Cotorro, Feo ("ugly" in Spanish--have you ever seen a baby parrot?), and Sopi (short for sopelote or "buzzurd"--again, have you ever seen a baby parrot?). The vocabulary of the creatures was amazing. Sopi could play a whole soccer game in spanish and english, call the cat and then bark at him, say "please" and "thank you" at the apporpriate times. He loved hot chocolate and would go from person to person saying "give me some", then "thank you". He was my parrot and preferred women with glasses and men with beards (my dad). They are truly wonderful animals.


I have already introduced you to Dude, our Newfoundland--my baby. In reality he is my daughter's dog and adores her, but until she can find a permanent home that will handle a very large, hairy, slobbery dog, he will stay with us. We had rescued two Newfoundlands in the past and have finally been blessed with one we could raise with manners!


Then there is Zeke, Dude's puppy. He is Justin's dog (again, still living with us...same story as Dude). He is a happy, go-lucky hyper dog who only wants to please you. Justin had the nerve to inform me this summer that "Zeke needs a puppy"! I reminded him that that is how we got Zeke in the first place. I am happy to announce that both dogs are becoming great fishin' dogs!



The newest additions to our family are Lola and Luigi. They are so entertaining! Last night they were each chasing the others tails. They are not too sure of the two, obviously, much larger dogs and I have the scratch marks to prove it. But everyone is beginning to settle down--we've only had them four days.



I have had so many pets over the years: Dusty, Rex, Quila, Mr. Schultz, Max, TC, Fire, Sox, Sassy, Buck, Callie, Spanky, Solomon and his many wives (rooster and hens), Freckles (lamb), on and on. God has given us so many enjoyable things to amuse us, to teach us responsibility and the true meaning of loyalty. For those of you non-animal lovers, don't worry--I have had enough enjoyment and lessons of responsibility and loyalty for all of us!

A Plug For Yellowstone, Nat'l Park

Yellowstone holds so many fun memories for me! We were blessed to live 2-3 hours drive from the park for 17 years...and we took full advantage of it. There were days we did it as a day trip, and weekends we spent camping, fishing and hiking. We have taken many friends and family to visit the national monument over the years and did it again this last weekend. It was like going home!

Two "couple friends" of Ken's and mine (a single friend of our's joined us a few days later) spent 3 full days in the park, hiking, biking, fishing and touristing. The nights were very cold--we'd wake up to frost inside our tents--but the campfires were warming inside and out. We sang, we ate, and ate, and ate. We made friends with a lone camper next to us who'd join us at the fires (I'm sure it was better than trying to sleep through our noise), join us for huckleberry pancakes in the mornings, hot drinks and pies baked over the hot coals in the evenings. There is nothing like a campfire to create comraderie.

If you have never been to Yellowstone, you need to put it on your "bucket list". If you have been to Yellowstone, you need to go again and this time spend more time in the less touristy spots--not that they are not wonderful, everyone needs to see them--but this time spend a little time off the beaten path. There are many hiking trails ranging from the short and flat to the long and steep. We've been there over 20 times I'm sure and every time we do or see something new and still haven't seen it all. We girls walked the .75 mile trail to Chittenden Bridge and on the way back a doe and her fawn were on the trail grazing along. They stopped long enough to "check us out" then continued their foraging as if we weren't there. We stopped, waiting for them to continue on, but soon realized they had no intention of moving out of our way. So we walked right by them, so close we could have pet the doe as we passed!

The boys had dreamed of biking Yellowstone for a couple of years...this was the year. They rode with us following them in the truck from the top of Dunraven Pass to Tower Fall (which by the way you can no longer hike to the bottom of for those of you who are familiar with it) going sometimes at speeds of 45 mph! From Tower they rode on to Mammoth Hot Springs where we

waited for them. We were thinking they would have an easy ride, most of it being down hill with a few rolling hills mixed in. It wasn't to be so! They had a head wind the whole way--so much so they had to pedal on the downhills. But it was an experience they'll never forget. And they all say they'd do it again.

wild life in the park is one of the most fun things, for me anyway. We saw bison (look up the difference between bison and buffalo), elk, moose, coyotes, canadian geese, eagles, hawks (all kinds of birds--a "camp robber" landed on Phil's head!), deer, ground squirrels, and...for the first time for me...wolves!!! We were fishing on Obsidian Creek (I'll do a blog later on fishing), whooping and hollering at every tiny fish caught--we are a noisy bunch--when we happened to look up across the creek and saw three gray wolves romping in the meadow like any playful puppies would--not 50 yards from us. To the left farther off we saw a larger black wolf wandering around. They would stop and look at us then continue on playing. Eventually they disappeared in the tall grass. We gathered our wits, calmed down our goose bumps and continued fishing till dark. Back at the cars a small group of people were looking off into the same meadow watching the black wolf who'd reappeared. As we stood awestruck, he lifted his head and started howling! What an amazing sound! Truly an experience I will never forget. We did not see any bears...but who cares!!!

We are already talking about our next trip to the park, planning a 3 mile hike in to Grebe Lake to catch the elusive Grayling (a less common fish), and biking the lower loop. If you want to join us let me know! It's always an adventure.

August is a pretty busy month for us. Both the kids' birthdays are in August as well as our anniversary.

When Tiff and Justin were little we would take turns having the big birthday party--alternate years. We had pirate parties with treasure hunts, Strawberry Shortcake parties, Hawaiin parties, Dalmation parties, swimming parties...you name it. Every year included a family party (usually with extended family present) as well so I don't think anyone every felt left out.


As for our anniversary, Kenny was very sure we had our yearly mini-honeymoon. I remember the year I was pregnant with Justin. We left Tiffany with my parents and went camping. The picture I have in my mind of me being nine months pregnant climbing over logs still makes me laugh. My favorite though was the year Kenny took me back to our "ole stomping grounds"-- where we met, dated, and married. He found a vacation house next door to the house I was living in when we first met that we rented for the weekend, then took me camping in the same campground we first camped together in. It was all very romantic. Our mini-honeymoons have somewhat fizzled over the last few years but we now get to do so many fun trips and we have so much time to ourselves the need for time alone isn't as pressing.


This year both the kids are out of the house so spending their birthdays with them seemed so much more necessary for some reason. We met Justin, his girlfriend and her family in a little town in the mountains and played for the weekend--fishing, swimming...eating. It was so re-assuring to see Justin truly happy and fitting in so well with them. (We are very blessed to have known her parents since before they were even married!)


(This is a picture of Ken and Justin practicing their scowling.)



For Tiffany's birthday, her boyfriend decided he wanted to surprise her with a camping trip...
and he pulled it off really well! I was definitely surprised. It rained all of the first day, but my eagle scout of a husband would have made the boyscouts proud. We enjoyed, fly-fishing, huckle berry-ing, campfire singing...and even saw a black bear. A truly fun weekend.

( This picture was taken at my niece's wedding the weekend before our camping trip--Tiff's the cute one.)

I have discovered this year that even though we no longer celebrate with pirates and clowns, birthdays are still exciting, interactive, maybe even cheaper and certainly less stressful. It's more like celebrating with dear friends and less with your toddlers. Gifts are still fun but usually more practical, definitely bigger. The party is more about the adventure and just being together than about "let's see how many friends we can fit into the living room". Don't get me wrong, I still miss those--the planning, the cake. But right now...I wouldn't trade this year's parties for anything!