"Who Am I?"

When I was growing up "who am I?" was THE question. You don't seem to hear it as much now. And I don't think it's because kids now-a-days have it figured out. So here I am in my 40's with lots of time on my hand...trying to "find myself". The more I think about it, the more I realize we never truly do find ourselves because we are constantly growing, learning and changing. By the time we reach my age, we hope to have found our place in society, to have experienced a few of our dreams and to have discovered our true interests. Most of us have figured out that "what I do" does not usually show "who I am".
So...who am I?
Right now (and I'm sure this will change) who I am is most closely shown through my current interests, the things that I enjoy the most. So...here goes...and the order may change...
God--he's a constant study! Everyday I learn something new about Him. I depend on Him for
everything: safety--for my family and friends, for people I don't even know but see in passing
that they are having a difficult time; peace--I'm a worrier by nature and turn to Him
constantly for assurance that He is in control, as long as I let Him be in control. He won't
force even that on me!; forgiveness--for the things I do and say to others and to Him, for
helping me to forgive others for what they do or say to me; love--sometimes I can't imagine
why He loves me and shows me that He loves me, and for His love shining through me to
those I sometimes don't want to love.
Kenny--my husband. While (and it took me a while to figure this out) my happiness cannot and
does not depend on him, I am happiest when I'm with him. He is patient, loving, charming,
funny, handsome, hardworking, talented, smart, energetic, kind, tough, generous...he has
taught me so much about life, people and God. He IS my best friend.
My kids--they are my life. Every day they amaze me. They are both so strong, dependable,
hardworking, stubborn, stick to their convictions regardless of what is going on around them in
a world where that is getting harder and harder to find. They have brought me more joy than
anything else (except maybe their dad but I've known him longer). Joy is the best gift anyone
can give you.
My parents-- They have spent their life doing what they have felt is right
regardless of what even their families thought. (My kids have great roots!) In hind-sight they
may think they should have done things differently but at the time it was what they thought
was best--what else can anyone do? Their love for me and my 4 siblings is superceded by
nothing except for their love of God and each other. They are my role model.
My friends--I have more close true girlfriends now than I have had in years. The few I have
kept from my past I can still call at the drop of a hat and pick up from where we left off. The
ones I have found in the last few years I can cry on, pray with, laugh with, share with and
depend on for anything. They are strong, laugh easily, play hard and support me in every
way. We cry with each other over our kids and when a pet dies. They are my heroes.
Everything else, I've decided, is nothing but hobbies! And I have a few of those too. But these are what have made me who I am. I cannot love or thank them enough...but every day I will try!